Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Discontent

I was just going to go on to bed tonight, but I have a thought on my mind that it seems must relay itself to my blog. I think that it has been brewing in my mind for some time now, but only recently has it started to become clear.
It has to do with the matter of the Kingdom Of Heaven. I have sought many answers for it, wondering what it's full purpose meant for us down here on earth. It seems there is more to living the imitated life of Jesus than many have seen. It seems that the whole paradigm needs a shift, and that shift must take place to fill an unrested place in the heart.
The shift I refer to is that of the eternal perspective. But let me elaborate. For some time now, I have been trying to get involved in a small group with a Christian center (preferably with a church), so that I may have community. I had thought on several occasions that I had found just the thing I was looking for, and was willing to settle into being a part of 'The Group'. But many doubts arose in my mind. And those doubts must be given accountance for.
First of all, I have doubts to the so called by me 'secondary requirements for true Christianity'. It seems to me that it has become all to natural to attach to faith the works that Paul so adamantly teaches against in the New Testament. Faith does not require an extra dose of 'Holy Spirit Baptizing', finding my gift (prophesy, healing, etc.), or anyting else so aligned. I believe that I am Christian basically and fundamentally from the fact that I can do nothing to save myself, and that I look to Jesus to do it for me. There is no other condition for living a life full of Christ. Now, side note: I'm not saying that all of the fore-mentioned things are false, or that they are meaningless, I simply am saying that they do not save me, nor do they fulfill my identity in Christ. He is the only rock on which I stand.
Number two, is that I have felt a real loss of community, in many small groups and churches. There is no comradery among so called 'Friends', more than to meet for an hour on a weeknight. When I look back to the Bible, I see that Jesus didn't go out by Himself to save the world. He chose and brought along 12, that's right, 12 disciples. That's an even dozen! Jesus knew that without a fellowship of believers, love would fall fallow. He also knew that a cord of three strands is not easily broken. And I too believe that a fundamental part of growing in Christ is that we need people. And we need to accept people with all of their quirks and abnormalities, for in doing this, we find the essence of Christ.
And lastly, I have felt that people have lost vision for people. Sometimes in Church I want to get up and say, 'Where has the heart gone? Does no one care that this world is not the end? That it is going to fall, and be destroyed? Have you lost sight of your mortality, and that this is the only time before Heaven to make an impact?'. I know that there are many good people out there, who are living 'Christian lives', and are doing the right things, talking the talk, but where are the people who are walking the walk? Jesus said that if we were really followers in Him, that we would see that this world is not our home, so we should not get comfortable. He said to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him. Life is good, but people are dying, while we live in prosperity. What good will wealth or a good job or anything else do, when our life is over, and we are standing before God? The only thing that's worth dying for is Jesus, and that's the only way to really live. It means (at least for me, and I'm still discovering what it means) that my purpose in life, is to serve God, by loving the lost, and encouraging the weary. I have struggled for a long time, because I have taken my talents, and put them before God. I have said, 'Since I am so good at this, I must do it, since I shouldn't waste talent'. I now know that I owe my talents to God, as it was Him who gave them to me. I realize that if I am able to give them to Him, he can mold those gifts into His perfect will. And in realizing that, I see that art is good, science is good, all knowledge is given by God, but these things, used for the purpose of themselves, makes them purposeless. So, I know that the only thing I can now claim to have is Jesus, and His love for me.
I hope I haven't ranted and raved to much, it's just that my mind is both learning, and being confused at the same time, and I must ask truthful questions.
I am out of energy for tonight, so until next time,
Yours Truly,
Joel

Monday, September 27, 2004

Finally Getting Around To It...

Ok, I know it's been a long time since I posted, and it's been a very long time since I claimed I'd leave my thoughts about the book, 'Peace Like A River'. I won't disappoint you by making you wait any longer.
I read just before that book, the book 'The Storm', by Frederick Buechner. I sincerely enjoyed it, thinking it to be a thoughtfully done book, with well developed characters. And in truth, I probably would have loved it all alone, if it had not been for the fact that I was at the same time reading 'Peace Like A River'. I felt somewhat sorry for the poor book, which I really did like, but when put face to face with a book like PLAR, it's hard to even compare.
To put it frankly, I thought it was a astounding book. I haven't been so enthralled with a book since maybe 'The Man Who Was Thursday' (another excellent beyond all others kind of book). It only comes once in a blue moon, but there is a way of life where ocasionally, the artist will rise to the top and shine. And Leif Enger has done just that. I predict that in the next fifty years, Leif Enger will be looked at as one of the great novellests in the Christian world. He has created in this book a world, where it is not weighed down with the cheap characters, predictable plots, and warm fuzzy endings that has become all to common in the Christian Fiction genre. It brings the pathos of life into being, and brings the paradox of living to a point of reference that the reader can relate to. It shows both the greatest heights of joy, and the despair of hopelessness. It also brings fantasy and reality to the perfect crossing, where both worlds meet and intertwine. It has been a long time since I like a character like I liked Reuben Land. He brought interest to the book from the very beginning, and was the perfect main character. His life was full of what we experience daily. But I think the greatest character that this book has the benefit of showing presence is Reuben's father. He brought the fullness of the painful human experience to a grounded peace, that passes understanding, peace that is like a river. I believe it is he that brings the title to existence, and he is the person who is the real main character all along. Even in the back of the narraration, it is his father that guides and rescues the family from destruction in the end. For this, for all it's subtleties is a decidedly Christian narrative. It is God that guides the plotline in many ways, and the relationship between Him and His humble servant is mind blowing and thought provoking. It was a joy to think that such a common man could have such a special, intimate relationship with the creator of the universe. I was duelly impressed.
I also think that the story couldn't do without swede. I loved the way Leif Enger had the story woven with Swede's creative work. It was a new and innovative narrative, that I thought was refreshing. It was like the same story was being played out in a parallel universe, but the two connected through the thought processes and creative writing that Swede gave to the storyline. I think she was there to be a refresher, one who is there to take our minds off of Davy's life-threatening predicament, Reuben's troubled mind, and his father's intense conversations with God. It helped to see the third and less noticed person, and allowed for some room in the story.
Just like any good yarn, it had many diverse people, who brought unpredictable twists and turns to the storyline. I actually wanted to like Andreeson (at some points), and not to give it away, but I truly detested the evil individuals who popped up in the book. But all must work together, both good and bad, to create redemption and conclusion. I have to admit, leaving the book, I felt a great sorrow, not only for having to leave it behind, but also how true the saying, 'Peace Like a River' must apply to our lives, especially in the way it ended. But I won't give any more away than to say, that a better tale of love and loss, of comedy mingling with tragedy, of false hopes battling cold reality, you will be hard pressed to find. And I think that those who choose to read through it will be changed, not in a happier way, but seeing a deeper part of God's grace. A wonderful read. five out of five, if I were to rate it.
P.S.
By the way, for all of you Frederick Buechner fans out there, I haven't given him up for loss and burned all his books. I'm still a great fan of his, and truly liked 'The Storm'. I think it's a good read, for those who have the time. I simply felt the need to be loyal to a piece of incredible literature. So please don't take it the wrong way. Till next time,
Joel

Friday, September 24, 2004

A Little Knowledge is...

I suppose it has been said that from about two to three years old, a phase of asking lots of questions, or "why's" is normal in the average kid. I must have missed out on that phase, because now, more than ever, I am asking questions.
There are so many questions I could probably write a book about them. I think that I think to much. Asking questions cries for more answers, and answers will inevitably lead to posing more questions. Why is there discontent in my heart about letting things be, and living the simple, somewhat ignorant life? Is it because it's natural to learn more, or is it because of sin? Is it that I'm different, or is it just vanity on my part? I've wondered if it was because of a divine spark in my mind. Maybe more knowledge is a good thing. Or then again, maybe a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. And if that's true, then wouldn't a lot of knowledge be fatal? The more I seek to know, the less sure about my current wisdom I become. It is like a deep, dark, endless hole. Ever becoming less understandable, and always with the hint of never coming to a complete end. It would lead to destruction, so it seems. But then again, why do I continue to pursue this path? Eventually I stumble upon the mistake in my thinking, and in doing so, I find the answer.
Be it ever so subtle, there's no thing like finite wisdom. How easy it is to be drawn into the fallible philosophies that men create, and accept them as ultimate intelligence. Even good Christians, who appear to be presenting God's truth, are really, in effect, creating a finite, fallen plan to solve our unsolvable problems. It is what I call 'The Double Agent Mentality'. The effect of seeming good, and yet, leaving you with a sense of discontent. It is the misconception of taking in a statement of culture, which might, in part, be true, and accepting it as the final reality. I too, must be guilty of putting on this 'Double Agent' mentality. For am I not also a man, like the all of the rest of us? I go so that I may see the truth, but find only folly. And not only in seeing, but also in being seen. We go so far as to deceive ourselves that we are ultimately right. In the end, it is a road of pressure to be responsible for our beliefs, that eventually destroys us. Father forgive us, for we know not what we do.
What a wonderful, liberating feeling, then, when we realize that we're not supposed to be responsible for our faith-filled rights, because God is faithful for us. Even in the unfortunate event that we turn our backs on God, He still has faith in us. As it says, "I will never leave you, nor will I forsake you".
Therein lies the liberation. Therein falls the answer. God is our wisdom. God is where we can gain ultimate knowledge. In Him we are safe, not to fall into the depths of fallible, finite despair, but to rise into the ecstasy of living in the God-inspired intellect.
It doesn't mean that we can't find truth in the world of man. If we couldn't, there would be no truth in my article, for I am as fallen as the rest of the masses. It is not the knowledge of truth in statement that is unethical, but the worship of it as a final meaning. Worship is reserved for God, and I hope, by His grace sufficient, that we will keep it that way.
I realize that I've asked and answered many questions in this venture of thought, and I want to finish it somewhat on my feet. In essence, I hope that you have found the truth that can be found in this writing, and that you will look to God to fill in the blanks that I missed.

Monday, September 06, 2004

The Charting of New Territories, Flashback To 1986

In the vast world of Contemporary Music, there is a great movement of people who are so-called groundbreakers, those who make new stylings in music. They are often cut from a different cloth than the mainstream genres, creating genres of their own. One of the greatest things in contemporary music is composing new sounds, and being one of a kind. Unfortunately, there are those who would glorify a musician for being different and creative, when in truth, all they are being is the former. They may sound unusual, and their lyrics may have a weird twist, but it doesn't make them better than anyone else, just diffferent. Thankfully, not all ground-breaking artists are mediocre, and Sam Phillips happens to be one of those gems that you don't see often.
She has been producing creative works of musical art for some 20 odd years, and has been nominated for a grammy for best rock album of the year, among other things. She holds to her own, and has been an inspiration for many in the music world. but to truly see her at her most creative, you have to turn back with me to the year 1986, when the only Sam Phillips in music was the creator of Sun records, the individual who found Elvis Presley. These were the days when this talented artist was known by her proper name, Leslie. It was in this time that she released her album, 'The Turning'. It ruffled the feathers of the Christian Contemporary Music world, and it was a step away from traditionalism in several ways.
1) She produced it lightly enough for it to earn an 'acoustic' rating across the board from music reviewers. In this time, the most popular band sported blazing electric guitars and booming drums, U2. She also managed to somehow avoid the cheesy 80's synth sound, that was all too popular at the time. This album definitely charted new territory.
2) It left the happy cliches of that era of Christian Music way behind, and delved into real lyrical feelings, instead of glorified 'Let's all be happy!' songs common to that time. With lines such as:

I am so afraid if I keep hoping
That there will come a day when my heart is open
that you will walk away
Like you were never there


Lyrics like these would have been critisized in the Christian community for not being positive enough, and would have been given no heed. It is the same now as it was then, with everyone ignoring their fears, and letting them fester in their hearts instead. Some people are wise enough to look inside themselves, and are more able to speak honestly.
3) She provided Christian music with the maybe the most ingenious moments of Christian music up to that time. From the offbeat drums on 'The Turning', to the quirky guitar track on 'Libera Me', to the tribal sounding 'Carry You', this album was overflowing with creativity, moisturizing the dry well of thoughtfulness in gospel music at that time.
Unfortunately, the masses generally never follow the unusual and thought-provoking pieces of art, but would rather be entertained by catchy hooks, and singable choruses. In doing so, much great art is passed by, and things that should be said are left in the dark. Thankfully, we have the Leslie Phillips of the world, to give us some color for the greyness of common trends. Overall, an excellent album. Now, by song:
'River Of Love'
Maybe my favorite on the album, a piercingly honest song about the detrament of sin, and the effects of the fall on all of our lives. It conveys the need for love in a dying world, and also, more tellingly, the grief of seeing the hopelessness. It combines that message with a single guitar, and her vocal track, to provide for a very intimate setting in which it is obvious that the artist means it, and is not just singing it. An excellent starter.
'Love Is Not Lost'
An anthem for the cause of love. A call for people to not loose heart in each other, for the good things that we can redeem in love to be glorified. I love the harmonies in this song, it caught my attention from the start, even though this is one of the more blatantly 80's sounding songs on the album.
'The Turning'
A warning song, of sorts. It's the cry of need, with Phillips asking to be spared from a 'turning'. Knowing that hearts will grow cold, she pleads for her soul to be spared. Very interesting drums on this track, and nice intense feel altogether.
'Libera Me'
My other favorite song on the album. It's probably the closest thing to a radio single she had on the album. Complete with a catchy beat, a irresistable guitar track, and excellent lyrics (not to mention, catchy chorus, with a clever wording), it is definitely the most accomplished song on the album in terms of artistic form and technical structure (from a mainstream pop point of view). A thuroughly enjoyable song.
'Carry You'
A very simple song, with only two lines and the chorus, sung repeatedly. But it comes across as an interesting song partially for its facinating production. Being consistent with the acoustic, basic percussion or guitar stylings, she plays off of world music.Tribal drums are what drive the song, not intensely, but introspectively, if I could put it that way. The provide a backdrop to her full-sounding vocals, to give an interesting tune. Very well done.
'Beating Heart'
Probably my least favorite song in terms of melody line combined with lyrics, but still a great effort. The lyrics are actually some of the best on the album, but I just didn't feel the song coming together with the flow of the album. It talks about time running out, before things can be put in their place, and the panic of a lost chance. To say more positively, the music does give an intense feel, but the melody line just didn't seem right to me. But still worth a listen, if just for the thought-provoking lyrics.
'Expectations'
Talking to an individual who is to high strung, and over expectant, she tells this person to 'loosen the pressure you choked me with, I can't breathe'. An interesting song, especially musically, with another intruiging percussion pattern. Good lyrics make this a great song.
An excellent example of a post-middle, pre-ending song, with worrisome music, and a drum pattern that yet again, demonstrates her great ability to intertwine melody, lyrics, and rhythm, to provide artistic harmony. This song reminds me slightly of 'Beating Heart', with a sense of loss being center to the thoughts in the song. In this instance, she grieves over the fact that she has been living in a false, superficial religion, rather than accepting it at the level that God was offering it to her. It is a telling song for many, and has an excellent message for living by relationship with God, not by a cold set of religious rules. Very convicting.
'Answers Don't Come Easy'
The answer to the previous song. Now she is resigned to the fact that not all things come with ease, and she is content to wait on the Lord. She conveys a sense of living by grace, and not panicking over false ideas. The music in this song helps to slow things down, kind of put the brakes on, to provide a segway into the next and last song. Very nice.
'God Is Watching You'
An interesting exercise in chorus lyrics, providing for an almost Psalm 136 feeling to it, with original and unique lyrics and thoughts. Here she goes back to the basic sound, as yet again, she goes back to vocals and a guitar. Here we hear for the first time in the album vocal tracks other than her own, in a small choir sort of sound. The Lyrics are nothing incredible, but provide that profundity that only simplicity brings. A sound ending to a work of art, to be remembered for a long time to come.

A couple of years ago, CCM compiled it's list of the greatest albums in Christian music. 'The Turning' landed at number eight. A well deserved spot by a well done album, here's what CCM's Chris Willman had to say about it:
'Some view Leslie/Sam as a turncoat, but her impact on fellow artists was incalculable. If "honesty" is now such a buzzword in the Christian music community that it's almost a cliché, we can trace the emphasis on that quality largely back to one particular Turning point.'
I have no reason to disagree. With honesty like this, the world would be a better place. I hope that many will take cues from Leslie Phillips, to see that honesty is more important than fame, any day. Overall, an excellent pick.

Friday, September 03, 2004

You want the music too?

Well, another day completed. I don't know if I feel thrilled at the day's contents, but I'm content to rest on the grace of God, till I start again tomorrow.
I just arrived home from "The Mill", the college and twenty-something group at New Life Church here in Colorado Springs. It's a spiritually active group, and many people have recommended it in the past. We went last week, and enjoyed it so much that we tried it again this week. In it's every part, it seems, the spirit is moving, and is going to do great things with this group.
But anyway, to the point, I was standing there in the middle of worship, trying to praise God sincerely, and was enjoying the beat, and I was really getting into the lyrics. And then, it hit me. All of a sudden, in the middle of an instrumental interlude, I realized that it's not just during the lyrics that I am able to praise God, but I felt the weight of the fact that God created music too, not just nice words to sing. I think it shows our worship to God when we recognize that even doing small, unimportant tasks, we can thank God for His sovereignty, and His willingness to make that moment holy. We may not love every taxing detail that life throws at us, but through Christ's grace, we can redeem that detail, and set it apart for Him. It was another reminder of the mentality of worshiping God at all times, and that with the right heart, we can show God our love for Him through everything we do, not just with worship. He desires it, because with it, He fulfills us. He wants the music too.
I must now thank God for his gift of sleep, and surrender to it, with my mind, drifting into bliss, until I awake to fulfill His will in a new day.
Till Then,
Joel