The Summer I Came Alive
I've just returned from reading about my good friend Foolish Knight's summer, and just reading it brought back fond memories of good times with him and his sister. It has inspired me to write about my summer, along with the fact that I know some of my faithful readers have been patiently waiting for me to give an account of it for a very long time. So here goes...
...It all began with my graduation. It happened on a beautiful week in May. It was a great week for graduating, and everything went off without a hitch, so to speak. I didn't know it before that week, but my graduation will be something I remember as a profound "starting point" in my life. I partially chose the title for this post from my graduation, along with a few other significant events in my life. Having some of my closest friends around to share in my joy, and having them pray over me and bless me had a profound impact on me. My graduation brought an awakening in me to a new life, starting from that day, as if I had been freed to a new place in my life. It was the perfect launching point for this summer.
I was fortunately able to have my good friends Foolishknight and Midsummer out to celebrate with me, and in return I visited their hometown to celebrate the good Knight's graduation. I was able to come a week early and see the stunningly beautiful state of Oregon close up and personal for the first time ever. To be honest, Portland is now one of my favorite cities in the US, and I was only there for one week! It wasn't that it was a wonderfully Christian or had great community, but there was something deeper that I felt in connection to Portland, deeper than the quaint bookstores and mysterious coffeehouses. I loved the soul of Portland. Maybe it was as much that I got to share it with my close friends as anything, but I'll be taking every chance I get to go to Oregon in the future.
Anyway, to get back to the subject, I shared a wonderful week with the Knight and his family, and have many fond memories of that time. As an added bonus, I re-met some old friends from TN (The Queen and her family!), and came to know them much better, and to find that they are likeminded souls! I will remember that week as a time of happiness and joy.
But all good things must come to an end for a time, that other things may take their place. I barely returned to the beautiful Rocky Mountains before I left again for the ultimate midwest USA experience: Lake Winona, IN...Ok, well maybe not the ultimate, but the quaint town certainly played a part in making my month-long arts adventure. It had programs for Orchestra, Intensive study, theatre and dance. The emphasis was on the classical arts in music and other forms of expression, but the backbone of the whole month was Bach's 'Soli Deo Gloria', all to the glory of God. That idea drove every piece of classical music, every step in a dance, every word from a script. It was a wonderful premise, and I wanted to take part in it. I attended the MasterWorks festival 2005 as a theatre student, returning as an alumni from 2003. That month was an awakening for me, but in a different way than my graduation week was. Where my graduation was a positive, edifying experience, MasterWorks was a challenge and a struggle. As soon as I arrived, we jumped immediately into a full-fledge dramatic production. It had been quite a while since I had last worked in a theatre setting, and it was quite a jolt to start working 10 hours a day, 6 days a week on theatre. Because of a good audition process, I was able to obtain a main role in the play, but had no idea the strain garnering that role would take on my physical condition. I can remember the first week very vividly. The almost 100 degree weather, the 1950's dorms with no real air conditioning, the long tiring days, and the strenuous nights. I can remember standing outside the concert hall at the end of the first week, and contemplating going back home. My spirit was willing, but my flesh was weak, and was making that fact painfully known. I would work from 9:00 AM till 6:30 PM, and then go on to the evening session, whatever it may have been. In my foolishness, I ate terribly (though the food certainly left much to be desired), and I unwisely stayed up till unheard hours of the night (3:30 or 4:00). I quickly learned the lesson of pacing myself.
I was awakened to the diversity of people, and especially the people who stayed in my dorm. I remember being surprised and shocked by the way some of the students lived and spoke and thought. It was a widening time for me, a process of learning to open my heart to people and not hold pre-conceived notions of righteousness. The strain of being responsible for my roll int the play topped it off, and simply added to the stress and worry of my mind.
I think more than anything I learned what it means to stand on God's word, or fall in His grace. I've never had a time where I had to be so solely dependant on God, and it instilled in me a trust that I never had known before. But I didn't only struggle, I was blessed by God with two incredible roommates, who were my arms that held me up when I was discouraged, and who built into my life incredible insight. They were true friends to the fullest meaning of the word. I had incredible times of spiritual experience with my immediate roommate, Crucified 220, and amazing things happened throughout the month, even just in our dorm. He lifted me up spirituallly, and we had some great times of pondering God. I truly am amazed how intricately formed my circle of friends were there, God was really looking out for me. My other roommate, or rather my suitemate, Edgar, was a constant encouragement to me throughout the day as I saw him. He was a good support when I was down, and we had some great discussions and talks. We all added a different dynamic. Me being the singer/songwriter theater guy, Michael being the violin genius, deep-discussions guy, and Edgar being the Aussie, piano genius, pyschology expert guy, we had quite a dynamic between us. I have many fond memories with them, including, but not limited to, stories of black hair dye, italian soda, and dress codes. We had laughs at people clapping between movements, and stuggles with practice and rehearsal, and everything between. It was wonderful to have these friends to share it all with. They brought me into the realization and presence of God. That was the beautiful thing about MasterWorks, how so many diverse people could come together to worship God. And it wasn't just for fellowship. There was the music.
The music is almost indescribable to share with you. It brought so many emotions to me. Maybe it was part of what kept me going, was the tugging on my soul deep down I felt every time I went to a concert. Bach's Brandenberg Concerto No. 4, Devorak's New World Symphony, Beethoven's The Emperor. The incredible glory of it brought tears to my eyes just to revel in it. I was like God was manifesting His Holy Spirit in a glorious anointing in the musicians represented there. We would all drown in our woe during the intense hours of the day, but when night came, the sound could be heard from a far distance from the concert house, resonating with magnificence across the village. It was as if a hundred angels were singing, 'Glory to God in the Highest', all around. It was an experience hard to describe with words, but I'd say it as overwhelming. All around.
And of course the emotions it produced in me were not just those of elation, but also of stirring, with Rachmaninov, a deep bittersweetness with the 3rd movement of the New World, a rallying of patriotism with the Arms Medley and National Anthem, and on and on. The feelings were in all practicality endless.
Of course there was also ballet, and a single, excellent performance from their troupe of Peter and the Wolf. It was enjoyable watching the perfomance, and remembering the story from when I was a small child. And the recitals going on all over the small village, a collection of little shops and stores at the end of the college campus were a unique addition to the whole experience. One wonderful memory is that of visiting the little coffee house at the end of one of the rows of shops. Most nights would find a few students sharing a cup of coffee in celebration of a successful performance. I remember wonderful conversations that would lead to relationship building times, and we would stay until they kicked us out, which was fairly late anyway, as the owners enjoyed having the students in the cafe. I can remember getting raspberry italian sodas, and a friend and I would consistently buy that same drink every time. It was a fun tradition we established, that I will remember every time I walk into a coffee shop from now on.
The stories of late night panic studying, debates over predestination and George Bush, dead car batteries, all-nighters playing ultimate frisbee and rocking out to Jimmy Eat World, buying pizza in gargantuan portions at crazy night hours, watching 'I, Robot' and 'The Phantom of the Opera' six times each over the course of the month, learning to swing dance, and so many other wild and wonderful stories will be present in my memory for years to come. I think when the final weekend came, I was ready for my performance. Not only because I wanted to perform, but because, throughout the month, I had been woken up. I had risen to the occassion, and had decided to boldy step forward into the light. That performance wasn't just a stepping out on the stage, it was a stepping out into the rest of my life with an attitude of boldness and bravery. Finally performing my roll in the play was a symbolism of a launching board for jumping into life, and the experience profoundly impacted me. I was thrilled that my good friends The Queen and The Queen Mum were able to drive up and see me perform. They were able to participate in my experience, which made it all the better for me on the stage. And driving back, because of strange circumstances, I was able to car pool with a friend back towards my home in the Rockies, even though we had to part ways half way through our trip. It's amazing how you can get to know someone on a roadtrip. Along with my sister, who had come to help me drive (and stay awake while doing so!), and my brother, who attended the festival with me, we got to become friends with Russell, a saxaphone player and music composer student. It was a perfect top off of the month, and was incredibe to hear his story of the friends he was visiting, how faithfulness between these friends and his family had spanned decades, and the distance between Melbourne, Australia and Illnois.
I could speak of that mysterious and wonderous month for an endless amount of time, late into the night, but I suppose just as all things must come to an end, I must end my account of MasterWorks, and continue on with my summer. Arriving home, I had just enough time to see my Mom and older sister off to England for a C.S. Lewis conference in Oxford, and my younger sister to TN. It was somewhat difficult having not seen them for 4 weeks, and then seeing them briefly only to watch them leave again, to an England still raw with grief from the 7/7 subway bombings. But God held it all in His hands, and many wonderful and life-altering things happened to them there, and I would not exchange the good things they experienced there to have had them at home. So anyway, with them away, me, my brother, and my dad visited Estes Park, CO, deep in the mountains, where the Gospel Music Association was holding it's annual conference and competition in the Rockies. It was also a good trip for me. Though not as life-changing as MasterWorks, it was very helpful for me to understand the in's and out's of the industry. I was able to get feedback on my songs, which ended up being good feedback. I was thouroughly encouraged, though I know now that my songs require a good bit of editing before they are commercially presentable. But that's ok as it brought me to a new understanding as my role in music, and ministry. Over all, not life-changing, but definitely stretching for my mental and emotial capacity.
I arrived home with the stress of a decision. I had decided I wanted to go to school in the fall, but I had no idea where it was God was trying to lead me. I struggled and strained, and even with some people I respect I argued till my face turned blue. In all practicality, I was striving without purpose, and straining towards a goal that was unatainable at the time, but I still refused to listen. By the time I finally did start listening, it was almost too late. But God is a God of the 11th hour, and He brought me to a school that I have been sincerely blessed by so far. It is a wonderful staff, who are teaching sincerely and accurately, and through a a wonderful church, and I truly believe I will have another tale to weave at the end of this year. But this story must wait, for I am going to far. I suppose I've covered the summer as best I could.
Yes, this summer has been a life-altering time for me, one that opened my eyes, and has helped me come alive. But it has also made me wonder how glorious it is to be a creation, made for purposes beyond my vision, that I would have seen not the full glory of heaven, but simple glimpses of God, those fleeting moments that bring me such incredible assurance that everything in the world is ok, because God has put it in wonderful order. I've never been more grateful to be alive. And to you out there who experienced it with me, and were patient with me, and laughed with me, and partook of my joys, and partook of my sorrows, I say, 'Hat's off to you, my friends. Hat's off!" You have been the ones who have given me clarity to my vision to see well, and for that I will be eternally grateful. For those of you reading this feeling sorrow as a do over being so far away from all of you, remember that Christ will bridge the Gap, and will bring us close spiritually, through grace, and that is an eye opening, life-fulfilling thought indeed!
...It all began with my graduation. It happened on a beautiful week in May. It was a great week for graduating, and everything went off without a hitch, so to speak. I didn't know it before that week, but my graduation will be something I remember as a profound "starting point" in my life. I partially chose the title for this post from my graduation, along with a few other significant events in my life. Having some of my closest friends around to share in my joy, and having them pray over me and bless me had a profound impact on me. My graduation brought an awakening in me to a new life, starting from that day, as if I had been freed to a new place in my life. It was the perfect launching point for this summer.
I was fortunately able to have my good friends Foolishknight and Midsummer out to celebrate with me, and in return I visited their hometown to celebrate the good Knight's graduation. I was able to come a week early and see the stunningly beautiful state of Oregon close up and personal for the first time ever. To be honest, Portland is now one of my favorite cities in the US, and I was only there for one week! It wasn't that it was a wonderfully Christian or had great community, but there was something deeper that I felt in connection to Portland, deeper than the quaint bookstores and mysterious coffeehouses. I loved the soul of Portland. Maybe it was as much that I got to share it with my close friends as anything, but I'll be taking every chance I get to go to Oregon in the future.
Anyway, to get back to the subject, I shared a wonderful week with the Knight and his family, and have many fond memories of that time. As an added bonus, I re-met some old friends from TN (The Queen and her family!), and came to know them much better, and to find that they are likeminded souls! I will remember that week as a time of happiness and joy.
But all good things must come to an end for a time, that other things may take their place. I barely returned to the beautiful Rocky Mountains before I left again for the ultimate midwest USA experience: Lake Winona, IN...Ok, well maybe not the ultimate, but the quaint town certainly played a part in making my month-long arts adventure. It had programs for Orchestra, Intensive study, theatre and dance. The emphasis was on the classical arts in music and other forms of expression, but the backbone of the whole month was Bach's 'Soli Deo Gloria', all to the glory of God. That idea drove every piece of classical music, every step in a dance, every word from a script. It was a wonderful premise, and I wanted to take part in it. I attended the MasterWorks festival 2005 as a theatre student, returning as an alumni from 2003. That month was an awakening for me, but in a different way than my graduation week was. Where my graduation was a positive, edifying experience, MasterWorks was a challenge and a struggle. As soon as I arrived, we jumped immediately into a full-fledge dramatic production. It had been quite a while since I had last worked in a theatre setting, and it was quite a jolt to start working 10 hours a day, 6 days a week on theatre. Because of a good audition process, I was able to obtain a main role in the play, but had no idea the strain garnering that role would take on my physical condition. I can remember the first week very vividly. The almost 100 degree weather, the 1950's dorms with no real air conditioning, the long tiring days, and the strenuous nights. I can remember standing outside the concert hall at the end of the first week, and contemplating going back home. My spirit was willing, but my flesh was weak, and was making that fact painfully known. I would work from 9:00 AM till 6:30 PM, and then go on to the evening session, whatever it may have been. In my foolishness, I ate terribly (though the food certainly left much to be desired), and I unwisely stayed up till unheard hours of the night (3:30 or 4:00). I quickly learned the lesson of pacing myself.
I was awakened to the diversity of people, and especially the people who stayed in my dorm. I remember being surprised and shocked by the way some of the students lived and spoke and thought. It was a widening time for me, a process of learning to open my heart to people and not hold pre-conceived notions of righteousness. The strain of being responsible for my roll int the play topped it off, and simply added to the stress and worry of my mind.
I think more than anything I learned what it means to stand on God's word, or fall in His grace. I've never had a time where I had to be so solely dependant on God, and it instilled in me a trust that I never had known before. But I didn't only struggle, I was blessed by God with two incredible roommates, who were my arms that held me up when I was discouraged, and who built into my life incredible insight. They were true friends to the fullest meaning of the word. I had incredible times of spiritual experience with my immediate roommate, Crucified 220, and amazing things happened throughout the month, even just in our dorm. He lifted me up spirituallly, and we had some great times of pondering God. I truly am amazed how intricately formed my circle of friends were there, God was really looking out for me. My other roommate, or rather my suitemate, Edgar, was a constant encouragement to me throughout the day as I saw him. He was a good support when I was down, and we had some great discussions and talks. We all added a different dynamic. Me being the singer/songwriter theater guy, Michael being the violin genius, deep-discussions guy, and Edgar being the Aussie, piano genius, pyschology expert guy, we had quite a dynamic between us. I have many fond memories with them, including, but not limited to, stories of black hair dye, italian soda, and dress codes. We had laughs at people clapping between movements, and stuggles with practice and rehearsal, and everything between. It was wonderful to have these friends to share it all with. They brought me into the realization and presence of God. That was the beautiful thing about MasterWorks, how so many diverse people could come together to worship God. And it wasn't just for fellowship. There was the music.
The music is almost indescribable to share with you. It brought so many emotions to me. Maybe it was part of what kept me going, was the tugging on my soul deep down I felt every time I went to a concert. Bach's Brandenberg Concerto No. 4, Devorak's New World Symphony, Beethoven's The Emperor. The incredible glory of it brought tears to my eyes just to revel in it. I was like God was manifesting His Holy Spirit in a glorious anointing in the musicians represented there. We would all drown in our woe during the intense hours of the day, but when night came, the sound could be heard from a far distance from the concert house, resonating with magnificence across the village. It was as if a hundred angels were singing, 'Glory to God in the Highest', all around. It was an experience hard to describe with words, but I'd say it as overwhelming. All around.
And of course the emotions it produced in me were not just those of elation, but also of stirring, with Rachmaninov, a deep bittersweetness with the 3rd movement of the New World, a rallying of patriotism with the Arms Medley and National Anthem, and on and on. The feelings were in all practicality endless.
Of course there was also ballet, and a single, excellent performance from their troupe of Peter and the Wolf. It was enjoyable watching the perfomance, and remembering the story from when I was a small child. And the recitals going on all over the small village, a collection of little shops and stores at the end of the college campus were a unique addition to the whole experience. One wonderful memory is that of visiting the little coffee house at the end of one of the rows of shops. Most nights would find a few students sharing a cup of coffee in celebration of a successful performance. I remember wonderful conversations that would lead to relationship building times, and we would stay until they kicked us out, which was fairly late anyway, as the owners enjoyed having the students in the cafe. I can remember getting raspberry italian sodas, and a friend and I would consistently buy that same drink every time. It was a fun tradition we established, that I will remember every time I walk into a coffee shop from now on.
The stories of late night panic studying, debates over predestination and George Bush, dead car batteries, all-nighters playing ultimate frisbee and rocking out to Jimmy Eat World, buying pizza in gargantuan portions at crazy night hours, watching 'I, Robot' and 'The Phantom of the Opera' six times each over the course of the month, learning to swing dance, and so many other wild and wonderful stories will be present in my memory for years to come. I think when the final weekend came, I was ready for my performance. Not only because I wanted to perform, but because, throughout the month, I had been woken up. I had risen to the occassion, and had decided to boldy step forward into the light. That performance wasn't just a stepping out on the stage, it was a stepping out into the rest of my life with an attitude of boldness and bravery. Finally performing my roll in the play was a symbolism of a launching board for jumping into life, and the experience profoundly impacted me. I was thrilled that my good friends The Queen and The Queen Mum were able to drive up and see me perform. They were able to participate in my experience, which made it all the better for me on the stage. And driving back, because of strange circumstances, I was able to car pool with a friend back towards my home in the Rockies, even though we had to part ways half way through our trip. It's amazing how you can get to know someone on a roadtrip. Along with my sister, who had come to help me drive (and stay awake while doing so!), and my brother, who attended the festival with me, we got to become friends with Russell, a saxaphone player and music composer student. It was a perfect top off of the month, and was incredibe to hear his story of the friends he was visiting, how faithfulness between these friends and his family had spanned decades, and the distance between Melbourne, Australia and Illnois.
I could speak of that mysterious and wonderous month for an endless amount of time, late into the night, but I suppose just as all things must come to an end, I must end my account of MasterWorks, and continue on with my summer. Arriving home, I had just enough time to see my Mom and older sister off to England for a C.S. Lewis conference in Oxford, and my younger sister to TN. It was somewhat difficult having not seen them for 4 weeks, and then seeing them briefly only to watch them leave again, to an England still raw with grief from the 7/7 subway bombings. But God held it all in His hands, and many wonderful and life-altering things happened to them there, and I would not exchange the good things they experienced there to have had them at home. So anyway, with them away, me, my brother, and my dad visited Estes Park, CO, deep in the mountains, where the Gospel Music Association was holding it's annual conference and competition in the Rockies. It was also a good trip for me. Though not as life-changing as MasterWorks, it was very helpful for me to understand the in's and out's of the industry. I was able to get feedback on my songs, which ended up being good feedback. I was thouroughly encouraged, though I know now that my songs require a good bit of editing before they are commercially presentable. But that's ok as it brought me to a new understanding as my role in music, and ministry. Over all, not life-changing, but definitely stretching for my mental and emotial capacity.
I arrived home with the stress of a decision. I had decided I wanted to go to school in the fall, but I had no idea where it was God was trying to lead me. I struggled and strained, and even with some people I respect I argued till my face turned blue. In all practicality, I was striving without purpose, and straining towards a goal that was unatainable at the time, but I still refused to listen. By the time I finally did start listening, it was almost too late. But God is a God of the 11th hour, and He brought me to a school that I have been sincerely blessed by so far. It is a wonderful staff, who are teaching sincerely and accurately, and through a a wonderful church, and I truly believe I will have another tale to weave at the end of this year. But this story must wait, for I am going to far. I suppose I've covered the summer as best I could.
Yes, this summer has been a life-altering time for me, one that opened my eyes, and has helped me come alive. But it has also made me wonder how glorious it is to be a creation, made for purposes beyond my vision, that I would have seen not the full glory of heaven, but simple glimpses of God, those fleeting moments that bring me such incredible assurance that everything in the world is ok, because God has put it in wonderful order. I've never been more grateful to be alive. And to you out there who experienced it with me, and were patient with me, and laughed with me, and partook of my joys, and partook of my sorrows, I say, 'Hat's off to you, my friends. Hat's off!" You have been the ones who have given me clarity to my vision to see well, and for that I will be eternally grateful. For those of you reading this feeling sorrow as a do over being so far away from all of you, remember that Christ will bridge the Gap, and will bring us close spiritually, through grace, and that is an eye opening, life-fulfilling thought indeed!
posted by Eucharisto at 6:19 PM
8 Comments:
Wow, That post is HUGE I would like to read it just it is late so I will get back to itl
Well now that it is even later I have just finished reading and all I can say is Wow. Those worship times you described sound so beautifil, I would liked to have seen and heard them in the flesh. That first week of Master Works makes SEMP sound like a Sunday school picnic but then again they are trying to get two diffferent things across. Those experiences sound so wonderful and I am very glad for you, have fun doing those last days at school and may God bless.
Very good post, Eucharisto! You do such a wonderful job at making the descriptions of your summer so full and rich that I can't help but envy you. I'm very glad for you.
Plus you learned how to swing dance! Now I'm really envious!
Dearest Eucharisto,
Thank you so very much for your post. Yes, I have waited and even longed for details of your summer. I have prayed for you and it is so exciting to read of all the wonderful ways God has blessed you. What a blessing to hear how you were blessed through so many people,events and places. May you stay so close to God that you will be listening for His instruction and hear.
As you know, we think your music is great. We will be your groupies for a long time. How encouraging to know that you are so open to God refining your gift so that it can be used for His glory. As always, your posts are descriptive, witty and fun to read. Love you, God bless.
I copied your words, when you said, "But it has also made me wonder how glorious it is to be a creation, made for purposes beyond my vision, that I would have seen not the full glory of heaven, but simple glimpses of God, those fleeting moments that bring me such incredible assurance that everything in the world is ok, because God has put it in wonderful order. I've never been more grateful to be alive." In those few words you have captured the meaning of life. I spent several days contemplating them, and they have encouraged me beyond measure. Thank you.
Wow you had such a busy summer after leaving Oregon! I am so impressed by all your experiences. Good luck with the rest of your year. And make some more music! I loved what Foolish Knight played for me. Very impressive!
Wow Joel,
What a summer! I'm glad for you, and grateful I got to be a part of it. Isn't it great to have to depend on Gods strength to pull you though something? At that point is when life gets real interesting.
I would like to add that seeing your performance was one of the highlights of my summer. You stayed in character and performed so well. When you heard laughter, it was the Queen and I who was the loudest. You were hiliarious. There is something so special about seeing someone you know as a different character. The performance was so effective, I got lost in your character. The cast as a whole was more than entertaining.
As to Oregon, it was great seeing you again and getting to know you better. The queen has the cutest video clip of the trip. Soldoutmonkey was recording as all of you were coming down from the falls. She could e-mail it to you if you wanted to see it.
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